Love bombing sounds like a lot of feelings and great love. Unfortunately, there is a dangerous dating trend behind it. Because in love we are unfortunately easily manipulated. It is often difficult to see if someone is playing the wrong game with us. Just like with Love Bombing.
Emotional manipulations happen quickly, both in relationships and during dating, when you don't really know and can assess the other person yet. A clear head is rare in the vortex of getting to know each other for the first time. Especially when the new partner showers you with deep feelings and even more attention.
It is easy to understand that we are not always clear and objective. You would like to believe in the great love and let yourself be carried away. And so you often get into the situation that you get to the wrong one or the wrong one. This is also the case with Love Bombing, a dating behavior that manipulates you and does you no good.
What exactly is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when the new date showers you with huge feelings right at the beginning. Everything is somehow almost too good to be true. Your date regularly reports with sweet messages and compliments, shows you his affection very openly and honestly, is mega interested in you, totally responds to your needs.
Your new acquaintance makes the deepest declarations of love and future plans after a very short time. You feel great and dream of a new partnership, a beautiful future together with this person who seems to have so much to give.
What you don't suspect at this moment: This kind of love bombing, this bombardment and showering with love, is often a serious warning sign that you may have come across a person with a narcissistic personality disorder.
What is the flip side of the big feelings?
Because after the first time, in which everything was so wonderful and soulful, the tide turns. If you do not behave as he or she wishes, the great love suddenly turns around and the Love Bomber begins to criticize you, reproach you and insult you. He himself never makes mistakes, it is always the fault of the partner, i.e. you.
Often narcissists also show a penchant for controlling their partner, telling them who to meet with or how they dress. Strong jealousy is also the order of the day.
Life with a Love Bomber is hardly relaxed and as beautiful as it was at the beginning. As soon as not everything revolves around him and is done the way he wants, the narcissist or narcissist stands across and makes you a scene. For example, if you want to take care of your own life or your friends and hobbies, you are a lousy egoist and there are arguments.
And just as emotional as the vows of love were, the accusations are extremely emotional – and often below the beltline. Also a popular means to make you submissive: love withdrawal. After an argument, the narcissist deprives you of love, closeness and any kind of physicality.
So the Love Bomber punishes you with silence after every argument and waits for you to apologize and crawl to crosses. And with this extreme behavior, he manages that at some point everything revolves around his sensitivities.
And the bad thing: You start to blame yourself instead of questioning and seeing through his behavior. Which, of course, is absolutely understandable, because you are in love and always remember how extremely beautiful and emotional your partnership can be – if the narcissist wants it.
Who prefers Love Bombing?
The victims of such love bombers are usually people who have had bad experiences with partners, who often had to deal with non-binding dates and therefore want so much security and deep, honest feelings. Often it is people with little self-esteem who come across such a narcissist.
They are only too happy to be carried away by the initial emotional rush instead of becoming suspicious. They notice very well: Somehow everything goes very fast. Faster than usual. But since you want to believe him, you trust his feelings. And already you are a victim of your narcissistic manipulation.
How to protect yourself from love bombing
So what to do not to get such a narcissist or narcissist? Well, luckily, not everyone who showers you with their feelings is love bombing. Maybe your new acquaintance is just sure with his feelings for you.
But if he is extremely exuberant, you should also be skeptical. Turning on common sense when letting completely new people into your life is certainly always a good idea.
Here are a few more tips:
# Use the view from the outside
If you are unsure of yourself, you can also ask your friends about the new acquaintance. They usually know you very well. So imagine your new date to a friend you trust and get his/her opinion. What impression is given? How does he or she feel about your dealings with each other? Also tell what makes you suspicious, read text messages and ask questions about things that have unsettled you.
# Recognize who you have
In front of you It is important that you recognize that you are dealing with a narcissist. Which is certainly not always recognizable at first, because often narcissists are dazzling personalities with a rousing emotionality. Nevertheless, trust your gut feeling when it warns you that something is wrong in your partnership. Always be clear: If all this is too good to be true, then your strange feeling certainly has its reason.
# Don't let yourself be made
A scapegoat Very important: Don't blame yourself if you keep arguing. Your counterpart tries to suggest this to you, but do not doubt your common sense. You are not as vicious and incapable as he portrays you.
# Don't let yourself be isolated
Although narcissists like to isolate their partner from others and have them completely fixated on themselves, try to keep your old contacts with family and friends. They make sure that you believe in yourself and know your worth and that it is not so easy for the narcissist in your life to unsettle yourself and let him or her dance to his/her tune. Good friends are worth their weight in gold in such toxic relationships and your springboard out of the well-established and extremely unhealthy situation for you.
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